Planning a wedding can feel like an overwhelming challenge, if you let it! With organization, and a good support team, you can curate a beautiful day that reflects both your personalities and gives your friends and family something to talk about for years to come. If you’re ready to say “I do”, here’s a friendly, step-by-step guide to help you navigate the potentially stressful job of wedding planning.
Setting Your Budget
The first step, and possibly the most important step in wedding planning is setting your budget. Money can get away from you fast, and it's so easy to do. Begin with a realistic budget that covers all essentials: venue, catering, attire, photography, and, of course, your wedding cake. According to The Knot’s 2022 Real Weddings Study, the average U.S. wedding costs around $34,000, with venue and catering being the largest expenses. I know!!! Crazy.
Once you’ve decided on a budget, clearly identify your top priorities for the day. Is it the venue or perhaps the photography? Knowing what's most important to you and your partner is a good first step. Just because catering is usually the most expensive, doesn't mean it has to be. If a huge wedding cake and the best photographer is most important, then your budget should be allocated accordingly.
Creating a Guest List
Next on the list is finalizing your guest list. Start by listing all the people you cannot imagine being absent from your big day. Think family, friends, and childhood buddies—write them all down. This will give you a baseline to start with.
As you build your list, keep in mind the capacity of your chosen venue. Now, it's time to make some hard decisions. Remember, everyone that comes has to be fed.... does that friend from elementary school that you've haven't spoken to for 5 years really need to be invited?
I saw a good idea on social media - only send "save-the-dates" to the ones you know for a fact that you're inviting, that way, you can have more of an idea on what other vendors will cost before inviting everyone you know, because then, it's too late!
Choosing the Right Venue
Finding the venue might be one of the hardest steps in planning your wedding. You may already have a style in mind of where you've dreamed of getting married since you were a little girl, but after finding out those prices, you quickly change that style. We like to keep the guesswork out of pricing for our potential clients so we post them on our website. I do feel there are plenty of options out there to find the perfect venue, but it's always good to be open minded when looking, and to look at a few. Do your research! Pictures can sometimes be misleading - if I had a dollar for every time a couple told me "the pictures don't do the venue justice." Look at the venue's galleries and prices, and narrow down your list - visit them all! I do believe that when you walk into the "right" venue, you know it in your heart.
Picking Your Wedding Date
I see a lot of couples that have chosen their wedding date before their venue. I don't recommend this. You are putting yourself in a corner by choosing a date first before seeing the venue availability. I do understand that some dates are special, or carry a lot of meaning, but if that's not the case, keep an open mind when picking a date.
Once you have picked a date, inform key guests, especially those traveling from afar. This can help ensure their availability and excitement as your big day approaches.
Assembling Your Dream Team
Once your date is set, it’s time to assemble your wedding dream team. This could include an officiant, photographer, florist, and caterer. Your venue may have a list of vendors that they can provide to you to get you started. I send out a recommended vendor list to my booked couples - this list isn't a "closed" list, but I know all the vendors listed are reliable and do a good job. Picking a vendor randomly or just based on pictures probably isn't the smartest thing to do with your money.
When meeting with potential vendors, ensure their style and way of running business jives with you and what you want from them. You want to work with those who understand your vibe and are eager to collaborate. Have a list of questions to ask them when you meet - you might find out something that can be a dealbreaker!
Personalizing Your Wedding
One of the most enjoyable aspects of planning are the details. Finding special ways to incorporate family members who have passed, or unique touches that signify the relationship you have with your parents or siblings. Using your moms bracelet charm on your bouquet, or wearing the tie pin your dad wore when he got married. This is a special day, what better time to "bring in" those special pieces of those you love the most.
Choosing the Dress
Now what a girl dreams of the most - THE WEDDING DRESS!!! Looking for a wedding dress is a whole event in itself. Gathering the moms and friends for a day full of eating and shopping - how exciting. Now that you've chosen your venue, you can look for a dress that matches the vibe. I feel that shopping for the dress should be approached the same way when looking for a venue - try on as many as you like! How do you feel in it? Is it too scratchy? Too hard to breathe in? It's not all about the looks, and you'll most likely be wearing this dress all day from pre-ceremony pictures to sendoff. You can still be gorgeous and comfortable (well, sort of.)
And don't forget that wedding party. So many these days are allowing their wedding party to find a dress (or suit) that makes them comfortable and suits their own personal style. I love this idea. Not everyone feels comfortable in the same dress, and not everyone has the same budget - letting your friends find what they like is a good step to ensuring they enjoy their day.
Planning the Menu
Food plays a huge part of your wedding day. There are so many cuisines to choose from, and of course all different price points. Discuss menu options with your caterer and decide on whether you'll serve a sit-down meal, buffet, or even food stations. The Knot reports that food and drink make up approximately 30% of the total wedding budget, so plan wisely!
Sending Invitations
Now that you've set your date and venue, it’s time to send out your invitations! These days, you aren't expected to send out paper invites. Sending e-vites is definitely appropriate in this day and time, which saves money. Keep in mind that the style of your invite should reflect the style of your wedding. Ensure your invitations clearly present essential information: date, time, location, and RSVP details. As far as RVSPs go - please make sure to have a cut-off date for when you will no longer accept responses. If you're sending these out digitally, find a way to send out an automated message letting your guests know (in a nice way of course) that they've missed the deadline.
Don’t wait until the last minute; ideally, send your invitations at least 6-8 weeks in advance to provide ample time for responses.
Finalizing the Details
As your big day draws near, it’s time to finalize all the important details. Confirm arrangements with your vendors based on your RSVP responses, obtain your timeline from the photographer so that your day of coordinator can create theirs, and schedule your rehearsal, if applicable.
Creating an emergency kit for the bridal suite can be useful - include safety pins, garment tape, hairspray, and bandaids. You never know what might come up!
Enjoy the Celebration
Now it's time to enjoy the big day. So much planning has gone into this special day, it's time to take it all in and enjoy it. On your wedding day, take a moment to breathe and soak in the atmosphere. Don’t get caught up in minor issues that might arise; they’re all part of the day’s journey and honestly, at the end of the day, you won't remember those issues anyway. Focus on what really matters—celebrating your love surrounded by your cherished friends and family.
Wrapping Up the Journey
Create a timeline that allows you to break the planning steps into manageable steps. Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate out things that are easy to let go of control for. It's so easy to get overwhelmed, and if you're anything like me, when I get too stressed...I shut down!
Remember, whether your wedding is extravagant or more casual, the most important thing is the love you share. What matters in the end is that you're beginning your forever journey with the person you love.
Until next time...
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